When we consider counselling, it can bring mixed emotions leaving us feeling vulnerable and wondering if counselling is for us. We may wonder who counselling is really for and whether we fit the ‘profile’ of someone that needs or would benefit from counselling. Some of us may wonder what counselling will entail – will it feel uncomfortable and what will the counsellor say or do to us? We may be confused about when the ‘right time’ to start counselling is and we may have uncertain expectations about how quickly counselling may help us. It is also common to question how counselling works – how can talking therapy actually make a difference?
The fact that some degree of stigma exists about counselling can cause us to feel vulnerable. The idea of trusting a stranger with our feelings and inner thoughts may feel scary and trigger all sorts of challenging emotions.
So here is where debunking some of the myths about counselling may be helpful…
Who is counselling for?
Anyone! The myth that there is something ‘wrong’ with an individual seeking counselling is simply not true. It is inevitable that life will present us all with problems at some point in our existence. It does not mean there is something wrong with us if we seek help, rather it takes strength and courage to get help. Mahatma Ghandi once said, “When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.” The decision to make personal change is only possible from the individual strength of a client.
What will really happen during counselling?
Whether the professional you see is a psychologist or they refer to themselves as a counsellor or therapist they will offer talk therapy. Just as ballet and modern hip-hop are both dancing, there are many different modalities or styles of talk therapy, from short-term approaches focused on particular issues to much longer-term in-depth analysis. Your counsellor can help you understand their approach or style of practice and together you can decide what may work best for you.
When should I start counselling?
There is no right or wrong time. If you want to join a gym, you do not have to get fit before you can present yourself among the weights and cardio machines – whether you have run marathons before or whether your most recent exercise was regularly picking up the tv remote, the gym will welcome you and adapt according to your starting point. Counselling is no different. Whether you have regularly sought counselling for personal wellbeing and targeted issues, or whether you have never before contemplated the idea of talking to a ‘stranger’ about a problem, counselling can work for you.
So how does counselling work?
Your counsellor provides you with a confidential safe space, with no judgement, in which you can talk about your problems and any issues causing difficulty in your daily life. They help you make sense of what is going on and of your thoughts and emotions so that you can find acceptance, become unstuck and identify your own personal strengths and resources for overcoming or coping with the issues identified. This can sometimes be focused on specific issues or events. For clients who want to make sense of their present struggles through a new understanding of past experiences and how they influence current behaviours, counselling can help you rebuild, supporting you in finding new meaning and more helpful ways of functioning.
What does a counselling session feel like, and what will I be expected to do?
There is no expected skill or ability that anyone has to have to go to counselling. In our experience some clients begin by sharing a lot of information all at once, reveling in the freedom to share their burdens and offload troubles; while others may feel tongue-tied and uncertain about where to begin. Whether you tend to bare all from the outset or need more time to feel comfortable sharing, we all enter counselling just as we are, and so it should be! Your counsellor is there to offer you the space you need, meeting you where you are at with respect, understanding and empathy. This is the time where you do not need to mould or adapt yourself to fit in with someone else, this is your space to be you, sharing however much you feel comfortable to share and to discover how you truly feel. Imagine that… no expectations, no judgement and no ‘having to be’ a certain way for the sake of another… This is what counselling is intended to offer you. A space outside the norms, habits and rituals of everyday relationships – a sacred safe space that is yours, to be free and unburdened by the expectations of self or others. A space in which new discoveries about self and others can be made in order to find a new way of feeling, thinking and being.
We hope reading this helps answer potential questions you may have if you are considering counselling. If there is more you wish to know in order to make an informed decision, please do not hesitate to contact us for more information and insight. Alternatively, if you are considering making an appointment you are welcome to make use of the complimentary chemistry sessions offered at Connect Counselling and Psychotherapy in order to meet a potential counsellor and make an informed decision about whether to go ahead and book an appointment. Whatever you decide, we wish you well in your journey.
